I’m finding it difficult to explain to people how it feels. It’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I'm excited at the prospect of building the perfect work/life balance, being able to contribute to the household finances while being able to do the 'mundane' things I yearn for, like walking the girls to and from school. Taking them to and from activities. Cuddling them before an afternoon nap. Like having breakfast with my husband - maybe sometimes just the two of us - gotta love shift work! Just being there. It's like a dream come true.
I feel a sense of guilt at having this opportunity, because my husband works so hard to look after us. I feel like I am letting our team down and being selfish in following this path. When I dared to dream about identifying myself as a photographer, I used to get a little flutter of excitement in my belly. That flutter is now nervousness and a growing sense of responsibility.
I also feel a huge sense of relief that my future is no longer in someone else's hands. And I am savouring every precious moment with my amazing girls while they are so very young.
I can do this. I will do this.
