Sick with love

My general anxiety thinking that something terrible is going to happen to The Bean is becoming overwhelming. Even on days where she is testing my patience (which due to my general exhaustion and short temper is most days at the moment) I can't bear to be away from her. I miss her even while she's sleeping and find myself checking on her throughout the night, something I haven't done for a very long time.

Jump and shout

It appears that the 'terrible twos' may have arrived with a bang after experiencing a few epic tantrums from The Bean two days in a row. Up until now we have been able to reason with her (up to a point). When she starts to get upset or whiney we can usually calm her down and redirect her frustration before she completely loses her cool. Over the last two days we haven't been quick enough to fend off the screaming, crying, shouting, stomping and belligerence that was her reaction to some seemingly routine events.

Daddy dearest

It will be interesting to see how The Bean copes when her little sister enters the world. She is certainly daddy's little girl and I can imagine that she will be fiercely protective of that relationship.

I think her favourite time of day is bedtime on the nights that daddy is home to put her to bed. The stories, songs and strange little rituals they have created together (like the 'round the corner high five', or driving to bed on the computer chair) take far more time than I have the patience for, which of course is just one of the reasons that he is such a wonderful dad.

Happy Father's Day babe. Your girls love you x

Take a deep breath...

My stress levels are currently through the roof, which is not an ideal way to be feeling with only eight weeks to go before Pumpkin arrives. A combination of general life stresses and some more specific stresses (and no doubt some raging hormones thrown in for good measure) has left me an emotional wreck. Crying at the drop of a hat, losing my temper quicker than you can say ‘calm down crazy pregnant lady!’ and an inability to get some proper rest has seen things become a little difficult in my household (mostly for my dear husband).

The big goodbye

I can't quite remember when we first gave The Bean a dummy to sleep with, but it has been a fantastic tool and she has been a fantastic sleeper. When she was still small enough to sleep in my arms, popping a dummy in her mouth was her cue to sleep and she would snuggle up and drift off no matter where we were—cinema, café, friend’s house. Apart from giving it to her as a 'treat' on flights the dummy hasn't really left her bed and has been used exclusively for sleep. 

New life

One definite positive of our little photography business chugging along is that I am being forced to drive places that I wouldn’t usually drive. There are still certain roads and routes that I won’t travel, but I have recently driven to some places that were definitely out of my comfort zone. And guess what? I survived.

Fear and love

As I enter my third trimester (eeep!) my anxiety about what lies ahead is slowly but surely starting to build. Like the first time around, my anxiety is less about having a baby than having a baby—experiencing labour and birth once before has not really eased any fears and doubts that I had before (except that I am now absolutely certain that a hospital is where I want to be). 

By the time I went into labour with The Bean I felt more excitement and confidence than fear and doubt. Right at this moment I feel I am lacking whatever it is I need to bring a new baby into the world with a mindset of strength and peace.