A wonderful friend of mine recently started her own blog and she was the inspiration—the final push—for me to start to record more than the just the good times in my life, but also the difficult elements that I have thus far been too afraid to share with most people I know.
I am careful about how I present myself to the world through mediums such as Facebook. I show my happy pictures and my light-hearted side. I am mindful not to share anything that would impact negatively on mine or my husband’s careers. I showcase the parts of my life that make me happy to get out of bed each morning, the parts that reinforce the wonderful blessings I have in my life.
Now I want to clear my head and I want to write something down for my daughter in case one day she needs to understand why I was the way I was. If she follows in the footsteps of my family then she may find herself battling the demons of anxiety one day, and I hope I can help her through it before it overwhelms her like it did me. What I write won’t be dark, but it will be honest. I am not looking for sympathy, but I am looking for understanding—from myself most of all.
In the last couple of years, and specifically in the last few weeks, I have experienced some life changing events. Some were very big and some were very small, but they were life changing nonetheless. I feel I have finally been able to conquer my crippling anxiety and start to move forward with a more positive outlook. Actually, ‘conquer’ probably isn’t the right word. I have managed to lock my anxiety in a cupboard and I have misplaced the key. I can still hear it banging on the door, yelling at me to let it out, but I’m going to try to ignore it for now.
Sometimes the easiest way to get over an issue is to forget to remember that you have one.
It’s time to forget.
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