While many around her have moved back into their daily routines, she and her family have embarked on a terrible journey of grief where they have no escape. Her children must be dressed and fed, the bills need to be paid, the chores need to be done—all the while knowing that she will never have any answers about why this happened, waking up each morning and remembering that her first born is gone.
We grow up knowing that we will die one day. We will say goodbye to friends and family along the way, celebrate or commiserate at funerals and wakes, and try to comfort those who are grieving. When faced with grief we tell ourselves that things will be different from now on. We will tell those we love how much we love them more often. We will never go to sleep angry. We will cherish each and every moment we are blessed with. We will hold our nearest and dearest a little bit closer, and try to be more forgiving and patient. We will be caring and kind. We will stop and smell the roses. We will move forward.
We expect that our lives will end as they should, the natural order being that a parent should never, ever have to experience the loss of a child.
On the other side of grief, slowly but surely we return to our old ways. We become impatient and stressed at times, we experience conflict, we behave selfishly, we take things for granted, and we get busy with the big things. Then we hear someone who is suffering say that they wish they had paid more attention to the little things. And then we try to be ‘good’ again.
As an anxious person, the concepts of life and death weigh heavily on my mind each day. I know that I cannot start living every day like it is my last because that responsibility would be too great. There are, however, changes I can make in my life that will allow me to go to sleep at night knowing that I have done my very best.
My friend who lost her beloved son asked that we all hold our loved ones a little closer each day, and for me that starts today.
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