Watch and learn

Today at the park I watched The Bean race headlong down a grassy hill and pulled out my camera to record the inevitable tumble. She cried out for a moment (just in case anyone was listening) and then calmly picked herself up, dusted off her hands, and proceeded to repeat this sequence three more times. As I snapped away, I idly wondered if I was being a bad mother, or if I was, as I hoped, actually doing her good by letting her fall down and hopefully learn a thing or two about running down slopes?

It is absolutely fascinating to watch this little creature learn – and I say ‘watch’ because it has become apparent that, even at her tender age, in many areas of her life we are already merely spectators. We know for sure that her language development is perhaps our biggest area of influence, never more clearly demonstrated than when she uttered her first swear word. She also offers ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ which make us feel better about the swear words. To liken her to a couple of household objects, she is both a sponge and a mirror. 

The Bean will sometimes say or do something new and unusual, and my husband and I will look at each other and ask at the same time “When did you teach her that?” When we realise it was neither of us, the moment serves as a reminder that we have already lost the absolute and total control of her life that we naively thought we had. The first time she said "Nup!" to Play School and asked to watch The Wiggles instead was like being stabbed in the heart by a tiny little knife (or perhaps a tiny Feathersword?). Who had committed this treacherous act and exposed her to such things? Why couldn’t we have stayed in the precious world of Play School forever?

We will try our very best to instil the morals, values and manners in her that we hope for, but sooner rather than later we will inevitably relinquish a great part of this awesome responsibility to the world at large. I hope that we can point her in the right direction and give her the confidence to make her own way there. We won’t be able to hold her hand at all times or wrap her in cotton wool, but we can make sure she knows that she always has a safe place in our arms and that we love her without reservation.

The environment in which we raise our daughter will no doubt go a long way to shaping the person that she will become. With that said, I don’t believe that babies are born tabula rasa, but rather some aspects of their temperament and personality are ‘written in the stars’. It will be very interesting in years to come if we are able to see the influence we have had on The Bean as a person, and to perhaps ponder how much of ‘her’ was already set in stone the moment she drew her first breath.